zemi camp

i'm back from zemi camp!! it was really fuckin' awesome!! it seems like i finally found my whereabouts!! my presentation went fairly well, and the nights spent with my girls were awesome :)

so this morning was skating practice 6:45-8:15 where i almost did nothing. and i got home and slept for like 4 hours. it seems like i havent slept in months!!

i start school in 3 days. i'm so very excited. i'll ace all my classes this time!

powerless

I'm totally powerless. I feel like I can't smile anymore. I forgot how to. Even when I saw my friends in class, I was like whatever... even when I saw Junko and Shiho, I was like whatever. I've been feeling terrible for the last few days. I can't stop but thinking about him, and denouncing myself for being such a cruel being. It seems like everything's over. Our friendship, and my long years of unrequited love is pretty much all gone. I know I have to move on. He's not my everything, and for him, I'm nothing. He's got his life. And I don't exist in his life. And I've got my own life too.

Tomorrow, I'm going to go help for the NHK Trophy. It's going to be really cool, especially because I can see the world's famous skaters at such a short distance. If I see Rena Inoue, I'm definitely going to cry and pass out.

My dad's coming back on December 23rd, just in time for Chrismas, even though both my mom and I have work then.

17 days til Christmas break, and 26 days til spring break! It's right across the corner!

okay...so..

I'm going to re-start my blog.

Tomorrow, I start classes after a week-long break for the Mita Festival. This past week was a total blast, but I do have a feeling that I was goofing around too much. Starting tomorrow, I better work really hard.

Wednesday-salon
Thursday-work at night
Friday-disneyland with shiho and junko
Saturday-sachi's concert at Mita Festival
Sunday-NTV with sunaho and uni. of tokyo festival
Monday-work at night
Tuesday-visited Matsudo for the first time in 11 years

I'm going to have a pretty busy few months ahead of me...especially with this week's help for the NHK Trophy in Tokyo, various assignments for different classes, early morning practice next week, Yuko's wedding, Spanish presentation....etc. Definitely no time for relaxing, sleeping, or just chilling out. I have 27 days of classes and possibly two more solely for exams. And it's SPRING BREAK! (but christmas break before that... :) )

I declare here that starting tomorrow, I'm going to leave no room for compromise. I'll try everything I can possibly do to implement the things I plan to do, and I won't settle for anything either.

I've had a rather dull life the past few months. I was basically spiritless, apathetic, and tired. I think it's time now to change my way of life, and living it in a convincing way so that I can feel content.